The Value of a Good Man
A friend did a TikTok video that generated some discussion. Sometimes heated discussion…simply a viewpoint. During men’s mental health awareness month, it deserves some discussion. Some thought anyway.
The mixed messages men get today are many. Women who have their own issues affect their sons who grow up to be….men! Men with an impossible standard to uphold. Be strong, be a provider, don’t cry, “man up” (I hate that phrase!), but as a man they’re also expected to be sensitive, cater to her, don’t show emotion, stuff it down and deal with it. When good men get jaded from their experience they’re wrong again for reacting to it. Good men do get mistreated also…even without a ‘reason’ other than being cruel. They don’t deserve that any more than women or children…but are expected to take it “or else.”
The last, say, year has brought some changes…and changes can be hard. Many don’t understand it, but even good changes can be hard. I think of a particular friend who changed much in my head when he didn’t have to…was not obligated to…the only benefit was mutual friendship. The confidence and positive he offered, going out of his way to help as he could…most would agree that’s a good man. Even that when he’s had some issues that are also difficult to deal with, some suggested dropping all contact. I can’t do that for one, and for two why is HE not allowed to legitimately deal with his own issues? Why on Earth punish him for it?! Honestly it kinda makes me…reactive…protective…Why am I allowed time to fix me but he isn’t? That says a lot.
I think of other men I know, in various ways…men I consider to be good men. Remember good men doesn’t mean just good single men…bigger picture. One will take time to listen occasionally…buddy chat, while at the same time taking care of his family and being a good human being in his community. Another makes time for friends as well as family when help is needed, in addition to caring for and supporting his own family and serving in the community he lives in, doing a thankless job expected to be done with perfection.
Another is struggling and feels a failure as due to life issues he’s not able to support a partner so remains depressed and judged by the weight of other’s expectations and his own. He is weighed down with lonely and rejection, and won’t let anyone in because they’ll leave anyway…also has made a difference in his community saving over 20 lives…yet is a failure? Women judge him for not enough money.
Another good man who comes to mind supports his small family by being the one managing the home, completely. Still another brings, like all of these men, good/bad is depending on what “side” you’re on. Defending a challenged single mom and her daughter is a good man…it’s his community and keeps a child from being a victim. Does it matter how he does it?
Sometimes good is something people think is perfect. None are perfect. I’m blessed to know these men and all will deny they’re good men but try. Yes, good men are out there in communities throughout the US. They’re not the only ones.
Some have some money, or a lot of money, but use it to control others. Power is a bigger factor…control…being able to manipulate a situation. Some people are absolutely just out for themselves, no doubt about it. Survival of the fittest don’t go away. Some manipulate just to use, some are more interested in taking than having a sincere positive situation, on any level. Too many will look you in the eye and lie. That doesn’t take away from the actions of the men earlier in the blog. Labels are for pickles but often it also depends how they’re treated too.
Appreciate good men…support them…encourage them! They are priceless! Value matters.
Food, Farm, Life Choices 